Wow, I just had the most awkward experience so far on this trip...no, wait. It had to have been up there with one of the more awkward moments of my life (not that there have been a ton). You see, yesterday, when I came back from my weekend trip, I saw Sergio outside washing his car. On a side note, as with many other Latin American countries, Ticos are OBSESSED with cleaning. Seriously, these fools are crazy. At the mall, they are constantly mopping. I'm telling you, if these people were as litigious as they are clean, there'd be MAJOR problems.

OK, back to the story. So when I came back yesterday, I was trying to tell Sergio about my trip (my family ALWAYS asks me how my day was, how I slept, how I did in my classes, etc.). I told him that it was fun, nice, relaxing, expensive, etc., when suddenly, their neighbor jumps into the conversation and recaps my summary in English. Totally shocked, I asked him how he knew English and he goes on to tell me that he's a retired Marine, and has lived in just about every country in the world. He tells me that I'm free to come over and have a beer and practice my Spanish anytime I want to. So today, after getting back from class, and determined to practice speaking more (with anyone who will let me), I walked over to his place and rang the doorbell...

That's where I should stopped, but stupid persistent me had to ring it again, which was totally a stupid thing to do. After all, I did hear him inside on the phone...I should have just assumed he was busy and gone home to study on my own. A couple of seconds later, he emerges and I ask him if he's busy. He says no. I then ask him if I can practice speaking Spanish with him and he says that's fine. I come inside and dude is still on the phone, which seems fine enough, but what I really walked into was a clearly WASTED man drunk dialing his old military friends, trying to relive his glory days. It was really kinda sad, because I could tell that the guy on the other line was not into this convo at all. I could tell that the other guy was trying to tell Frank that he needed to go eat dinner. But Frank wasn't having it...he, like me, is too persistent for his own good.

Fast-forward about 20 minutes, and Frank is still on the phone. I want to leave. I can't. What the hell do I do? Not wanting to be rude (like him, or in this case "House Drunk"), I decide to wait it out until he's finished. I can tell that he's pretty wasted, but he has his coherent moments, so I'm not 100% sure. I figure I'll be able to tell pretty quickly his level of intoxication when we start talking. So finally he gets off the phone, and then it becomes crystal clear. He is ABSOLUTELY WASTED. He doesn't even bother to get up and come sit next to me, but instead opts to stay seated near his massive glass of whiskey and pack of cigarettes. He basically asks me what I want from him and I break into the Spanish. Now, I'M on the spot and he's asking me what I want to know. Having carried a conversation or two in my lifetime, I begin with the basics. I tell him my vitals, age, profession, what I'm doing in CR, etc. Now, I'm not great at Spanish (although I am now officially in the intermediate book...kind of a big deal...lol), but I do know the basics. It becomes apparent just how drunk Frank is when I use the word "todo" (basically, "all") when I'm asking him where he's visited. Even though I've been speaking decent Spanish the whole time, Frank jumps in to correct me. "Toh-DOH," he tells me...I repeat, "Todo." "NO!" he says..."TOH-DOH (using phonetic spelling now for emphasis)." I repeat, "Todo." (while thinking to myself what an idiot I am for getting myself into this predicament). "NO!" he says. "TORO is like a bull. You're saying TORO. You need to say todo." I make a very strong emphasis on the "d", which by the way sounded completely ridiculous, and he's satisfied. Crap, and the conversation has just begun...

I stuck it out for about another 15-20 minutes, painful as it was, before finding a nice exit strategy. He encourages me to come back for dinner in an hour. Yeah right. I'm going to avoid that place like the plague...

BTW- I posted all of my week one pictures on my Facebook account. They're too hard to load on this blog. If you have an account (which I'm thinking most of you do), you can check them out there. If not, well, this is your opportunity to get with the program!

Ben